


Sanitized

by TheWriterTriad



Series: Splatoon Oneshots [6]
Category: Splatoon
Genre: Sanitization, mentions of minor splatoon characters, possible spoilers for octo expansion, pre-octo expansion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-29 05:53:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16258010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWriterTriad/pseuds/TheWriterTriad
Summary: Yet again someone's failed all of Tartar's tests. This subject, however, seems to be a bit too valuable to just throw away.





	Sanitized

“You let an 8-ball fall. Test failed.” 

Test Subject 9,374 paled upon hearing those dreaded words.

_‘No no no no no no no!’_

Desperately the young teen tried to pull her Kamabo Corp ink tank off her back. She could practically feel the bomb strapped to the bottom of it inflating with that green ink. The octoling yelped in fear and began to scratch and yank at the locks holding the tank to her body. Her efforts were futile. The locks held firm, pressing the ink tank and bomb flush against her back. A high pitched beeping noise filled the air, growing more frantic as the minutes progressed. Soon it grew to a near-constant whine, and the teen shut her eyes in anticipation of what was to happen next. 

With a wet squelching sound the bomb overinflated and blew up, coating the octoling in soupy green ink. Subject 9,374 let out a cry of pain as it burned through her body, melting her away until all that remained was a puddle. A sad and terror-stricken octopus ghost flew off towards the station platform, a familiar routine for the teen at this point. This had to have been the third or fourth time she had completely failed this test. It was extremely difficult, even more of one than the test at Girl Power Station. She was tired, hungry, and in a lot of pain from being repeatedly splatted by CQ Cumber’s bomb.

Speaking of the conductor, he was waiting for the girl once she finished respawning. It was hard to tell what the sea cucumber was thinking, but Subject 9,374 thought that there was a hint of sympathy on his gelatinous blue face. The octoling weakly smiled at him before stumbling over to the turnstile and pressing her CQ Card against the scanner. 

“Insufficient funds,” the machine said with a beep. “Please come back with more CQ points. Thank you for choosing the Deep Sea Metro, proudly run by Kamabo Corp. Have a nice day!” 

“Insufficient funds?” The girl looked at the screen in confusion before pressing her card against it once more.

“Insufficient funds. Please come back with more CQ points. Thank you for choosing the Deep Sea Metro, proudly run by Kamabo Corp. Have a nice day!” 

“...I must have used up too many points…” She sighed and hung her head before deciding to check her point balance. When the number flashed up on the screen, the teen’s eyes widened in shock. “Z-zero? How?” 

“Ah, pardon me, Subject 9,374,” CQ Cumber slowly crawled over, rising up a bit to get a better look at the horrified girl. “If you have run out of CQ points, you cannot take the tests any longer.” 

“I...h-how will I reach the promised land now?” The girl sniffled, trying hard not to burst out sobbing. “I don’t want to be stuck down here….not forever…” 

“Kamabo Corp usually interviews the test subjects in these situations. I’ll take you to Central Station. Someone from the company will pick you up from there.” 

“...” She whimpered again but slowly stood up and stumbled towards the train. One of her legs was having trouble supporting her weight, and her suit was all ripped and torn. The girl was thin, dreadfully so, and the pallor of her skin made it appear as if she was sick or dying. It was clear that she wasn’t healthy. CQ Cumber felt a bit of pity well up in him at the sight of the defeated teen, but he held his tongue. It was corporate policy not to give details on what would happen next. In all honesty, he wasn’t completely certain as to what happened to the test subjects that ran out of CQ points. But what the blue creature did know was that they never came back from their interviews. Chances were he wouldn’t see Subject 9,374 again. It was a shame, she was one of the nicer test subjects he had the pleasure of interacting with. 

* * *

Central Station was cold, a lot colder than Subject 9,374 remembered. The train had dropped her off a few hours ago and departed, leaving the platform devoid of life aside from herself. It was lonesome, especially after being used to being around the denizens of the deep for so long. At this point, after having waited so long, the teen was tempted to simply hop onto the tracks and try to find her own way to the promised land. It was clear that the tests weren’t the answer for her, especially with her being out of CQ points.

Just as the octoling was about the work up the nerve to head off into dark tunnels, a pair of headlights came into view, and soon a small train pulled up to the platform. It was much fancier than the Deepsea Metro, clean of graffiti and polished to a shine. Kamabo’s logo was emblazoned on the door. It slid open, and a smartly-dressed sanitized octoling stepped out. 

“Test Subject 9,374,” she asked, looking around the platform. The young teen whimpered a bit, terrified at the sight of the sanitized octoling. She had bad memories of fighting them off in several stations. They were one of the most difficult and unpredictable enemies the girl had faced during the tests. 

“Test Subject 9,374?”

“I-I’m here…” Timidly, she stepped forward, and the octoling instantly shifted her gaze to stare at her.

“Ah yes, come with me,” she said, gesturing for the teen to enter the train. Subject 9,374 hesitated, unsure if she would end up getting shot. She didn’t trust any of the sanitized octarians, especially the octolings. They always were a pain to deal with, especially when the one with a special inevitably showed up. 

“Ahem.” A cough from the sanitized octoling drew her out of her thoughts. “I apologize for the rush, Subject 9,374, but we do not have much time. I can assure you that no harm will come to you on the train.” 

The young octoling still hesitated, unsure of whether or not there could be any sort of tricks regarding this. Her companion tapped her foot impatiently as the fuschia tentacled cephalopod poked her head inside the train, taking a look around. It seemed like a normal train car, if a lot more plush and richly decorated than the normal ones on the Deepsea Metro lines. There was a table set up between some of the benches, laden with food. Upon seeing that, Subject 9,374’s eyes widened and her stomach let out an angry rumble. The sanitized octoling noticed this and smirked. 

“Would you like something to eat? Feel free to help yourself.” 

“Really?” The test subject looked at her with a shocked expression. “I can eat all that? Does it cost CQ Points? I’m all out of them…” 

“Nope, it’s completely free.” 

At her words, Subject 9,374 was already on the train and sitting down at the table. It was admittedly foolish for her to just blindly trust that nothing would happen. But she was starving and exhausted. A chance to rest her weary body and eat some food wasn’t something she was going to pass up. 

“Wow, this is really good,” the young octoling exclaimed between mouthfuls, causing the sanitized employee to chuckle. “Way better than the stuff from the vending machines back in the central station.” 

“I can imagine,” the employee replied as she sat down across from Subject 9,374. “We do have business to attend to, however. According to your files, you’ve run out of CQ Points while doing the tests.”

“Yeah...those eight ball stations are rough. One wrong move and then they fall off the stage.” 

“You also, however, were wildly successful in clearing other tests,” the sanitized octoling continued after glancing down towards her notes. “Not many clear almost 60 tests, that’s quite the impressive feat.”

Her young charge grinned sheepishly, a slightly embarrassed blush forming on her face. She had encountered a lot of success in the other testing chambers, particularly the target busting ones. She had impeccable accuracy with midrange weapons, and the speed in which she cleared the stages was a testament to that. 

“Normally we would have you do work around the stations, cleaning up after the tests and whatnot, in exchange for some CQ Points,” the employee said, causing Subject 9,374 to flinch slightly. 

“Y-you want me to clean up bodies?” 

“No, no, not at all.” Her unusual companion frowned, quickly shaking her head. “That is what we usually do for those that find little success in the testing chambers. You, however, are quite remarkable. Thus, Director Tartar would like to offer you a higher ranking position in the company.” 

“Really?” Eyes wide, the octoling stared at the sanitized occupant of the car in shock. A soft scraping sound echoed in the air as a door opened up, but neither octoling paid any attention to it. 

“Yes.” The employee nodded gravely. “So, do you accept?” 

“Absolutely!” 

As soon as her confirmation was voiced, a sharp pain blossomed in the back of her head and the teenager blacked out. 

* * *

_Pain...it hurt why did it hurt. Where was she? More importantly who was she?_

“Oi, quit daydreaming!” 

Try as she might, the teal octoling couldn’t really remember much. Fragments of memories flashed through her mind. A train car, then suddenly a glass prison. Something that looked like...a billiard ball? Strange goop dripping into her body via IVs. A large isopod sitting on a bench admiring erasers? No that wasn’t right...was it? 

“I said, quit daydreaming, you lazy lout!” 

A loud shout right by her ears caused the octoling to flinch. 

“Sorry sir,” she mumbled, snapping to attention. “It won’t happen again.” 

“It better not,” the teal octocommander muttered before raising his voice. “We’re assigned to the line G today. Newbie, you’re heading to G09. Don’t mess things up, got it?” 

“Yes sir! I won’t let you or Kamabo Corp down.” 

_“You let an eight ball fall. Test failed.”_

“Hm?” The sanitized octoling looked around as the squadron began to depart. “Did someone say something?”

“No.” Her superior glared at her. “Now get moving, the last subject who went through this test chamber let the eight ball fall. Go retrieve it and put it back in its holding area. And if you keep on spacing out and hearing things I’ll personally send your sorry behind back to the main branch for resanitization, got it?” 

“Y-yes, sir!”

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly I'm pretty curious about what happened to all the other test subjects. We know that the ones who collected all four thangs were ground up and added to the supreme dna sludge. Some of them, like Iso Padre, gave up and just live on the train. But what about all the others who failed and ran out of CQ points? They aren't mentioned at all, so this is my take on what I think happens to the stronger ones. 
> 
> Yes, I know in the game you get put in debt if you run out of CQ Points. But I'm pretty sure that that's only added in so you don't end up in a situation where you cannot progress through the octo expansion. So in a real-life setting I don't think that Tartar would bother doing that


End file.
